


diary

by yeosangly



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band), The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: College AU, M/M, Short Chapters, bbangkyu, bbangnyu, bbangnyukyu, because why not, i just really love those three, minsung - Freeform, nyukyu, will add characters as i go on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-07-24 13:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 5,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeosangly/pseuds/yeosangly
Summary: "dear diary,i think i like them both."where younghoon falls for two people at once.





	1. entry #1

_**sunday, 25.12.2016** _  
_**23:48 pm** _

_dear diary,_

_my name is younghoon. i'm 17 years old, and i'm from korea._

_christmas just passed, and i was gifted you, some clothes and the news that me and my family are going to move to seoul._

_i don't know if i liked that gift or not._

_as much as i want to go to seoul, i'm going to miss my hometown. i have lived here for years._

_but i guess it's time for a change, yeah?_

_to a new adventure we go!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just impulsively publish this? hell yeah
> 
> hopefully it wont flop-


	2. entry #2

**_sunday, 01.01.2017_ **  
**_1:28 am_ **

_dear diary,_

_happy new years! i spent it with hyunjoon and juyeon - my only friends._ _we had a good time._

_i've spent all new years so far with my parents, but this time they let me spent it with my friends since we're leaving cheongju in a few days. i won't be seeing hyunjoonie and juyeonie anytime soon._

_i'm gonna miss them a lot - they're the only people who took the time to get to know me. in school, i don't have any friends. probably because i'm too anxious to meet new people and it takes me forever to open up.  everyone just gets tired of waiting for me, so they just leave._

_i hope i'll meet someone like hyunjoon and juyeon in seoul. it would be pretty lonely to constantly be all by myself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so skz are gonna have another comeback-


	3. entry #3

**_monday, 09.01.2017_ **  
**_22:58 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_today was my first day in the new school. it...could have been worse, i guess. the teachers were nice, though, so it's cool._

_in the first class, i tripped as i was walking towards the front of the room to introduce myself and i fell on my face._

_my classmates laughed at me and i almost had a panic attack. i thought i had escaped from those, but it seems i'm wrong._

_then one boy at the back scoffed at them to leave me alone. he had blonde hair, brown eyes and plump, pinkish lips. he was quite short, and it seemed like he doesn't have many friends here - when he defended me, the others started making fun of him until the teacher stepped in._

_i felt bad that i didn't defend him, but i was thinking about the fact that i made a fool of myself and that i still had to face all those people and introduce myself._

_i stuttered a few times as i did so and in the room were heard some snickers that almost made me cry. i hate that they affect me so much, but i can't help it._

_the blonde boy in the back smiled at me and it somehow reassured me enough to fight the tears and finish my introduction._

_i was told to sit in the front, and when class ended, he rushed out immediately._

_i didn't have more lessons with him today, so i wasn't able to catch his name._

_i may try to ask him tomorrow, but i doubt i'll have the guts to do so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this actually kind of happened to me last year yeet


	4. entry #4

_**friday, 13.01.2017** _  
_**23:07 pm** _

_dear diary,_

_i had my first dance class today!_

_to be honest, it was the only thing i was looking forward to. i love dancing, but i've always learned it by myself in my room, so i was really excited to see how a real practice goes._

_i was placed with the beginners once they found out i never had dance classes. i didn't complain, i was just happy i was going to dance._

_anyways, fast forward to when the lesson started: since it was the first class after the christmas break, the teacher told us to show off a dance we previously learned. she told me i can just watch since i wasn't here before, but i told her i could try. and oh boy, was it worth it!_

_i was pretty nervous as i stood in the middle of the room, waiting for the music to play, but once i started dancing, it was easy._

_and when i was done, the teacher said that i'm good enough for advanced class! i'm so happy!_

_sadly, i have to wait until next week, but it's okay. i'm just so happy that they thought i'm good._

_oh, and if you're wondering, i still haven't asked that boy what is his name. i kind of overheard it, though, but only the first letters. it was something like "ch" i think._

_he's really cute. i saw him once today, he was wearing overalls and a yellow sweater underneath. he looked like a minion! so cute!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dunno how a dance class goes don't yell at me skdnfn
> 
> anyways kevin is my spirit animal
> 
> "of course i know what uwu means, do you think i live under a rock?"


	5. entry #5

_**wednesday, 18.01.2017** _  
_**21:47 pm** _

_dear diary,_

_today was my (second) first dance class! this time, with the advanced students._

_it was hard, but i enjoyed it a lot. the teacher is strict but nice and is good at explaining, so it's easy to pick up the steps._

_at first, i was (of course) really nervous, but most of the students were kind. especially this guy, i think his name is minho? yeah, i think that's him. he seems like the "popular" ones - people were looking at him all the time and constantly asking him how he's doing - but was very nice towards me and helped me out with some steps. he's also a very good dancer, i was basically gaping at how he moved his body._

_it must have looked like i was checking him out, because one of the rest said something like "yo, newbie, don't stare at minho like that or his boyfriend will be pissed". i'm pretty sure i blushed as i adverted my gaze, but oh well._

_it's not my fault i like good dancers! i just wanted to learn from him._

_he didn't seem mad, though, he told me it's okay and smiled as his boyfriend peeked into the room and looked for minho, grinning as he found him. minho called him over and introduced him to me - his name is jisung and he has pretty blonde hair and brown eyes. his cheeks are really cute as well!_

_what surprised me though is the fact that no one seemed to mind that they were both boys, unlike how it was in my old school._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant not add minsung hehe


	6. entry #6

_**wednesday,  01.02.2017** _  
**_22:03 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_today was a really nice day. i had my second dance class with the advanced students and it was amazing! mainly for two reasons._

_the first one was one student who wasn't here the previous time - i think his name was changmin or something similar. he is so cute! and is an awesome dancer as well - apparently, the reason he wasn't here last week is that he was participating in a dance competition with some of the best dancers (that are our age, of course). i didn't get to ask which place he got, but from what i heard, he was second which is really good!_

_he was also really nice as well. it seemed like him and minho are close because they talked a lot and helped each other out. i saw minho pointing at me across the room and then changmin looked at me and said something back at minho. i probably seemed kind of scared from him, because he then smiled at me and waved. thankfully i managed to do the same without making a fool of myself (though i'm pretty sure i blushed)._

_the other thing that was nice is that i was invited to a party! usually, i'd avoid them, but it feels nice that i'm starting to get on my feet in the new school._

_i don't know the guy who's hosting it, but his name is jeongin and it's his birthday party. i was kind of surprised, but jisung told me that he always invites the whole school, because his parents are rich and his house is really big. i wasn't sure if i'd go, but jisung told me that he could always keep me company if i am afraid. so i told him i'll go._

_i hope it'll be fun!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh skz snatched my wig 
> 
> go stream "i am you" !!


	7. entry #7

_**sunday, 12.02.2017** _   
_**11:34 am** _

_dear diary,_

_yesterday i was at jeongin's party. i wasn't really impressed - maybe because i don't like smoking nor drinking - but it was fun nonetheless._

_true to his word, jisung kind of took care of me, because i was close to breaking down at some point. there were too many people and i was too anxious to even move._

_actually,_ _both_   _minho and jisung stayed by my side (i really should thank them when i see them in school) until a certain someone approached me._

_it was the blonde guy from the first day of school! he had recognized me and had decided to talk to me._

_i probably blushed a lot, and it seemed like jisung saw it because next thing i knew, he had dragged minho away, smirking, and had pinned him against the wall. i don't know if they were drunk, or if that was something normal, but anyways, back to what i was talking about._

_i finally learned his name! it's chanhee - it's so pretty and it fits him well. we talked the whole night and i even drank a bit with him, but not enough to get wasted._

_i was surprised how much things we have in common, and that there was no tension between us despite this being the first time we talked._

_he was so pretty under the dim lights and the smoke - these people really love vaping. he was wearing a loose white shirt that slightly revealed his collarbones, and he had a bit of eyeshadow on. it fit him so well, i just hope i didn't seem too creepy staring at him._

_i can't believe i'm saying this, but i'm excited for school tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minsung are being wildt
> 
> happy birthday to our favorite bundle boy,, minho! we love you you big baby ♡


	8. entry #8

**_friday, 03.03.2017_ **   
**_23:58 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_its been a while since i wrote here, but i have reasons why._

_school was really kicking my ass so i had to focus on my studies, and after that all my free time was spent with chanhee._

_i was so happy that the monday after the party he approached me and sat next to me. he said that he liked my company and that he would like to be friends with me._

_of course, i said yes. i was really happy._

_it was really nice at first - we ate lunch together, i moved my seat to the back of the class so we could sit with each other, and we got to know one another pretty well._

_but then today, he decided to wear makeup again. he also wore a pink hoodie with an image of a kitty on it. he looked really good like that, but apparently, i'm the only one who thinks like that._

_and it seemed like not everyone receives the treatment that jisung and minho do because after the first class ended, i rushed out to the bathroom and told chanhee to wait for me next to the lockers._

_when i came back, a pair of guys and a girl were pushing chanhee in the lockers, causing him to groan from the pain. people were surrounding them, but no one tried to help chanhee. the bullies just kept making fun of him and insulting him with words like "fag" and "too girly to be a guy". one of them even asked if chanhee already "had it up his ass". i was just staring at them, my breathing uneven, and at that moment chanhee looked at me and we locked eyes. he was basically pleading me to do stop them, but i couldn't. i can't go back to how it was in my old school._

_all i did was shake my head and run as fast as possible to get some teacher to stop them. once i found one and told her what's happening, i went home, skipping the rest of the classes._

_i hope chanhee will forgive me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao it won't be me if there is no angst


	9. entry #9

_**tuesday, 14.03.2017** _  
_**20:59 pm** _

_dear diary,_

_it has been a while since i wrote here (again), i apologize. i was just very down ever since that time chanhee got bullied._

_we haven't really talked after that. he just stopped talking to everyone - even the teachers - and accepted the bullying silently._

_i still feel bad. i should have stood up for him; maybe we would still be friends._

_i don't even know why they like making fun of him. just because he likes makeup! i think most of the girls are just jealous that he wears it better than them. and their boyfriends are mad that he is prettier than any girl around._

_something nice did happen today, though. after class, when the bullies surrounded him again and started pushing him into the lockers, changmin appeared from somewhere. it seems like he is respected or feared by them because all it took for him to deal with the bullies were a few words._

_i am happy that he stood up for chanhee. i hope that he will be left alone by those mean people now._

_i saw changmin walking chanhee to his home to make sure no one would harm him. it's nice to see that he cares._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi stan ateez and yeosang's birthmark


	10. entry #10

**_sunday, 02.04.2017_ **  
**_12:03 am_ **

_dear diary,_

_once again, it's been a while since i wrote here. but i won't apologize anymore, because it makes me feel kind of bad and no one is going to read this anyway._

_yesterday i spotted chanhee and changmin in the park. i still haven't talked to chanhee, but at least ever since changmin stood up for him, no one has dared to lay a finger on him._

_they started spending a lot of time together as well. i'm happy for chanhee. he seems so full of life now, and he is always smiling when he's with changmin._

_he also started wearing makeup almost every day - usually some eyeshadow, but sometimes he even has lipstick on - and it takes me all my power to resist staring at him. he's so beautiful._

_i'm happy that he is starting to be himself. i'm happy that him and changminnie are getting closer. it's good that they have each other._

_i miss him, but he doesn't want to talk to me. at least i still have jisung and minho. they kind of look at me like a brother, but it feels nice knowing i'm not completely alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i posted this on wattpad but forgot to post it here


	11. entry #11

**_wednesday, 05.04.2017_ **  
**_23:09 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_today was a good day._

_i had dance class again and it was nice, i love dancing a lot and it helps me relieve my stress._

_but this isn't why i'm happy._

_i'm happy because chanhee finally talked to me again. i was changing after dance class and he walked in the changing room - he was searching for changmin - and i was the only one left there at this point._

_he seemed kind of confused whether he should just leave or talk to me, but he chose the latter._

_i didn't notice him until he sat on the bench next to me. i probably blushed and muttered some nonsense because i was really surprised, but he just smiled warmly at me and asked me how i was doing._

_we then talked and i apologized for not helping him out back then. i told him that i had been too scared to actually push the bullies away and that i had gone to call a teacher. he said that it's okay because i did help him, but no one told him that i called the teacher - he had just found it out today._

_he also apologized for not talking to me earlier, but i said that i deserved it._

_he offered me to walk home together, which i of course accepted. it was nice, but his house was closer to school than mine, so he had to leave me at some point, but it was okay._

_it was okay because right before he said goodbye, he hugged me._

_he hugged me and i am completely sure i blushed furiously._

_i'm so happy we're friends again. i missed him._

 


	12. entry #12

**_wednesday, 12.04.2017_ **  
**_22:34 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_today was quite nice because changmin talked to me for the first time since i saw him._

_i was really struggling with some steps from the dance. after the class ended, i decided to stay back and practice more so i could get it right._

_after a few more tries, though, i was pretty tired and mad at myself for messing up so many times and i nearly started crying._

_i sat in the corner of the room, hugging my knees and trying to stop the tears from frustration to fall when the door creaked open and changmin walked inside, his gaze going straight to me. he approached me with a warm smile, bending down and asking me what's wrong. after i told him, he stretched his arm out for me. i took it and he pulled me up sharply, causing me to stumble a bit and fall into his arms. i felt my face heating up as i pushed myself off him, apologizing, but he said that it's okay._

_after that, we spent around an hour in the dance room and in the end, i was able to do the steps perfectly. he cheered and high-fived me, brushing the hair away from my eyes, and told me i'm a great dancer._

_when we showered and changed (and wow, does he have a gorgeous body) he walked me home. i thanked him for all the help and we bid our goodbyes. he said that he'd love to spend more time with me._

_he's such an amazing person..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> younghoon don't check out changmin challenge 2k18 failed
> 
> happy bday to sangyeon uwu i love him so much


	13. entry #13

_**monday, 17.04.2017** _  
_**23:39 pm** _

_dear diary,_

_after last week, chanhee and changmin have both started talking with me more. chanhee and i don't sit together in class as we did, but at least he actually enjoys my company now and doesn't ignore me._

_changmin and i only have dance classes together and we only have them on wednesdays, but it's okay - he greets me in the hallways and he often waits in front of the classrooms, waiting for chanhee's lesson to end so he could drag him to lunch (and since chanhee and i share a lot of classes together, he says hi to me as well)._

_i'm so glad that they get along so well. both of them are amazing and deserve having someone equally great as a friend._

_today changmin wasn't at school - he was probably sick - and when lunch break started, chanhee invited me if i would like to sit with him while we eat. of course, i agreed - i know he only invited me because changmin wasn't here, but i get to spend time with chanhee so it's okay._

_we sat at the table that was usually occupied from the two of them and we laughed and talked the entire time. it was amazing; his laugh is so pretty and the way his eyes fall shut when he smiles widely is adorable._

_on my way to my next class (this time chanhee and i had different classes), i got roughly pushed by someone. i almost fell, but i managed to stay on my feet and look at who had done it - some older boy whose name i don't know. he looked me up and down and called me a fag because apparently "talking with a fag makes you one". i quietly told him to leave me alone and turned around, continuing to walk. he insulted me a few more times and smacked the back of my head before leaving me._

_i hope this didn't happen to chanhee as well now that changmin wasn't here today._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand im back with the angst


	14. entry #14

**_wednesday, 26.04.2017_ **  
**_21:11 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_today's chanhee's birthday!_

_he didn't celebrate it yet, of course, since we have school tomorrow. but this saturday him, changmin and me are going to have a sleepover at his place! it's gonna be amazing, i'm sure of it._

_the day was pretty nice as well. we had dance and after we finished, i was talking with jisung when chanhee walked in the practice room and ran into changmin's arms first, then came over to me and gave me a small hug as well._

_i was a bit jealous at him and changmin, but i shook it off as chanhee offered us to walk home together. we, of course, agreed in an instant and after me and changmin bid jisung and minho goodbye (and changminnie saying bye to at least half of the others in the class) we walked towards the changing room to get the sweaty clothes off our bodies before walking out of the school building._

_the fresh spring air and the light breeze was very soothing for changmin and me, considering that we were still hot and sweaty from the dance class. i don't know why chanhee insisted on hugging us both as we walked home, but he didn't seem to mind it. he just said he'll take a shower later today._

_we talked a lot. at first, i just listened to the two, but changmin soon noticed that and included me in the conversation despite me saying that i'm okay with just listening._

_chanhee took his side and the two of them didn't let me stop talking for even a second, seeming surprisingly happy to listen to my blabbering. i smiled on the inside, not believing how i deserved to have someone like them. i'm so lucky to be their friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter sucks but itll get better soon (i hope)


	15. chapter #1

_**saturday, 29.04.2017** _  
**_17:03 pm_ **

****

Glancing at the clock, Younghoon huffed and ran his hands through his wet hair. He had  _just_ showered, which left him little to no time to get ready for Chanhee's birthday.

He had spent the whole day desperately searching for the perfect birthday present for the older, wanting nothing but to see Chanhee's rosy lips to stretch into one of his heartwarming smiles. The older was still feeling guilty about the incident with the bullies a few weeks ago, and he  _really_  wanted to make up for it.

 

 

Earlier that day, he was losing hope at finding a good gift, but after he had checked every place he could find, Younghoon spotted a small jewelry shop squished between two large outlets. He hesitated for a second before skipping over, gently pushing the door open and walking inside.

The shop gave off a warm, loving feeling. Younghoon looked around, searching for something nice. His gaze ran over the different accessories, lingering for a second before moving on. Finally, his eye was caught by a simple necklace. He gently reached for it, taking it in his hands and inspecting it closely: a silver circle with a hole in its middle was hanging loosely from the metal string. It had a few different things drawn on it, matching to create a soft picture on the petite accessory.

Younghoon beamed, gently caressing the cold metal. He walked over to the seller, handing him the fragile object and taking out his wallet. The boy winced as he heard the price, but handed the money to the man behind the counter nonetheless. 

After he had walked out of the shop, he took out his phone, eyes widening as he took notice of the time. He took off running, happy that his home wasn't too far away.

 

 

After he had finally dried his body, he threw the towel on his unmade bed and started searching through his closet in a rush. He had already chosen what to wear a few days ago, but to his annoyance, the shirt had a huge slash in the front from God knows what (probably from his cat, but he'd  _never_ blame his fluffy angel for such deed).

And so, he was left with less than twenty minutes to find new clothes and to get to Chanhee's house - which wasn't that close to his own - without running the whole way; he didn't want to look like a sweaty mess when he arrived.

Younghoon muttered quiet swears under his breath, finally grabbing something okay-looking and putting it on, not caring that his hair was still dripping and little waterdrops were streaming down his neck, wetting the shirt as well. He carefully placed Chanhee's gift in a beautiful little box, placing it next to his phone and keys as not to forget it. 

He ran a hand through his locks and groaned - he forgot to dry it off. The boy wouldn't care if it was just a normal school day - he would just let it dry itself - but this was a special day, so he couldn't leave it like that. He strutted towards the bathroom and took the hair dryer, turning it on to the highest level to hurry the process up.

A couple of minutes later, his hair - thought messy and uncombed - was all dry. Younghoon went to exit the bathroom when his eye was caught by his mother's makeup bag, and an idea appeared in his mind.

Locking the bathroom door, he carefully opened said bag and got to work. Chanhee was going to  _love_ this.

 

 

Younghoon didn't suspect that he'd be so skilled at makeup - he put on a bit of eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lipstick for quite the short amount of time, without messing up even once. His hands were steady while his heart was beating rapidly at what he was doing, but it was for  _Chanhee_ and so he didn't stop. The younger was going to be really surprised, considering that he himself was the only boy at school brave enough to wear makeup.

The boy had always loved how a faint blush or highlight, accompanied by some eyeshadow, could make a person's features pop out. He wasn't the biggest fan of makeup that was  _too_ much, but the way Chanhee used the medium was gentle and made him look so angelic that Younghoon couldn't help but love it. Plus, who was he to judge people? If they liked it and it made them happy, Younghoon wouldn't care how much makeup they used.

 

 

Deciding that he was good to go, he carefully put everything back in place, grabbed his keys, phone, and the gift, gave his cat a quick pat on the head and ran out of the house, knowing that he'd have to walk pretty fast if he wanted to get there on time. Chanhee had said that there's no exact set time, but Younghoon didn't want to be too late.

He took in the scenery around; a few clouds were presented in the air while the sky was painted a baby blue and pastel purple with small tints of red and orange, signalizing that the sunset was near. He smiled a little - even though the large building prevented him from being able to enjoy the view fully, he loved what he had, knowing that a lot of people could only dream about living here.

The boy turned his attention back to the pavement, gripping the gift in his pocket as to make sure it was still there. His phone suddenly turned on, informing him that he had a message, causing him to smile a little as he saw who the text was from.

 

**_channie 💞:_ **

_hey younghoonie! changminnie is already here, are you coming soon?_

**_me:_ **

_yes !! i'm on my way, sorry for being a little late :(_

**_channie 💞:_ **

_nono it's okay! i was just making sure you haven't forgotten uwu_

_see you soon! 💗_

**_me:_ **

_see ya !!_

 

A few minutes later, Younghoon found himself in front of a white door. He double-checked the address on his phone, making sure that this was Chanhee's home.

 _There we go_ , he thought,  _just stay calm and it'll be_ _alright_. He took a deep breath, biting his lip nervously and brought his shaking arm up to ring the bell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so excited for the comeback


	16. entry #15

**_sunday, 30.04.2017_ **  
**_11:29 am_ **

_dear diary,_

_chanhee's birthday was amazing. at first, i was pretty shy, but he and changminnie managed to get me to relax - and after that minho and jisung also came! so i felt more comfortable and managed to have a lot of fun._

_we didn't do much - we just watched some movies, talked, and played games like truth or dare and spin the bottle (chanhee had to kiss changmin on the cheek, but i don't think either of them minded that) and then we slept over at his house._

_i just got home from there. i really am happy that i went, and chanhee also really liked his present! he put the necklace on immediately, it made me so happy._

_he said that he likes simple things like that, and i will make sure to remember it._

_i'm really tired right now because we stayed up late, so i will take a shower and go to sleep._

_i can't wait to see the four of them tomorrow - especially chanhee and changminnie, but don't tell jisung that (he gets jealous easily - minho has to be careful)._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back with a shitty chapter
> 
> stream no air !!


	17. entry #16

**_monday, 08.05.2017_ **   
**_11:09 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_i've been pretty busy lately - i started hanging out with changmin and chanhee more, and that makes me very happy. they're both such great people._

_today chanhee, me, and jisung were given a biology project to work on, and chanhee was nice enough to invite us over at his house so we could do it. i think we'll do a good job since chanhee is smart, i'm pretty good at crafting things and jisungie has amazing presence so he would be the one doing the majority of the talking when the time comes._

_i  kind of hoped that me and chanhee would be on a team. jisung is nice, but i wanna spent more time with just chanhee. i never can - he's always with changmin when we're not in school. i'm pretty sure there is something going on between them, but i don't have proof._

_i won't ask them just yet; i'll wait and see. who knows, it may even be nothing..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year im back
> 
> also !! i changed this up a little. basically i switched changmin's and younghoon's places uwu. also hoonie is their age too, but he's still the oldest


	18. entry #17

**_sunday, 14.05.2017_ **   
**_10:48 am_ **

_dear diary,_

_i have a problem; i have feelings for chanhee, and i don't really know what to do._

_we met each other a little over five months ago, but he's just so amazing - i honestly have no idea why i just now realized i don't see him as just a friend anymore._

_i wouldn't have figured it out if we weren't at his home yesterday with jisung for that project. we managed to finish most of the work, and we decided to take a break and watch a movie to reward ourselves. of course, chanhee chose it because i insisted him to, despite jisung getting all pouty._

_we had just started the movie when minho called jisung to come over - apparently, his parents weren't home - so soon enough, he bid us goodbye and sprinted out of chanhee's house, leaving the two of us alone._

_it was...slightly awkward at first? i don't really know why. there was some tension in the air, and it was chanhee who managed to break it when he snuggled against my chest and fixed his attention to the movie. and we spent the whole time like this - he even fell asleep at some point._

_if i knew it would turn out this way, i would have pressed upon choosing a longer movie._

_i'm not sure what exactly was the thing that made my breath hitch when the thought that i have feelings for him entered my mind. i'm not sure that i want to know; i just want to get over him faster - i don't want to get between him and changmin, because i'm sure there is something going on with them._

_it's a matter of time until they get together, anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just hoping that this will get better but it probably wont


	19. Chapter 19

**_wednesday, 17.05.2017_ **   
**_20:59 pm_ **

_dear diary,_

_changmin, me, and some guy called seungmin were teamed for a dance battle. i'm happy that changmin is paired with me, but that other boy is one of those who bullied chanhee, so i don't really fancy that. the teacher didn't allow us to be teamed with someone else, though, so i guess we have to deal with him until the end (at least he is a good dancer)._

_i'm pretty excited for the competition. my dancing has been improving a lot, especially with changmin's help, and i'm proud of myself. plus, dancing helps me keep my mind off of chanhee, so that's nice too._

_changmin is really really nice. i love spending time with him - he's a sweetheart (except if you're mean towards his friends) and despite him looking super cute and being pretty short, i feel safe around him. it's kinda weird - most would expect him to be a little angel who needs to be protected, though he is everything but that._

_he is super nice towards me - always so gentle (?) and caring, i don't know why. i feel like he's afraid that someone might hurt me or something._

_i'm not sure, but it doesn't really matter. i'm just happy he's my friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> younghoon is a baby there is no changing my mind


End file.
